The Temporary Object of His Affection

It’s always great when someone makes you feel sexy. Like when you catch a stranger checking you out while you ride your bike, or when a guy from your gym unexpectedly “woofs” at you through a phone app. It’s totally sexy! And a great boost to our self-confidence.

It kind of feels like a drug and you walk around like “I got it going on!” Yes, no one says this but old people. I’m old! – which is why when someone finds you attractive at 38, you’re like yaaasssss!

So when this guy from the gym asked me out for dinner, I didn’t really want to go on a ‘date’ but he insisted that he wanted to do something nice for me. I had been going through a rough patch and he wanted to cheer me up. I was like, “ok”.

He took me to this ‘trendy’ spot for dinner and we chatted and laughed. It was delightful. He was very attentive and complimentary. He told me I had such a great soul and how sexy I was. I was like “hehehe” – all coy and shit. Then he suggested that we go to his place and watch a something on TV. I knew what that meant. But I wanted to make-out – I had been going through a rough patch!

He continued to be charming the whole time we were together and it threw me off. Was he into me or was he just trying to get into my pants? Either way, it was working. The pants flew off. The next day he was still very nice. I didn’t have to use Lyft to get home. He drove and bought me coffee. I was like oh! Maybe he does like me.

ChismeWhen I got home, like a 16-year old girl, I text a friend and told her the good news! The dry spell was over! We met for the chisme. After chismeando, I walked home and I ran into him at a coffee shop, and he was sitting there with a guy (probably his butt buddy). We said “Hi” to each other and I continued home. He texted me later and said it was a delight to see me again and that he loved my sunglasses.

gaspI texted him back hours later (I didn’t want to seem desperate texting right away!) and told him I had fun too and that we should hang out again soon. He texted me back saying he was very busy and that he was still working on himself…WTF?! I had gotten the brush off!  And had just been used! For sex! I wasn’t looking for a boyfriend, maybe a lover, but not a lifetime commitment here.

After that text, I started to wonder. Was it me? Did I come off too strong as wanting more? Or was I just terrible in bed? God, I hope I wasn’t terrible in bed. I mean it’s always off the first time you have sex with someone new, right? Right?? Then I thought about it, he used me for sex because he found me attractive. This was a compliment! I was the temporary object of his affection. It was sexy…in a sort of degrading type-of-way. Instead of wondering why he didn’t want to see me again, I took this adventure to boost my self-confidence because I still had it going on!

Boom

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Call of the Mean Gay

Here’s the second blog post on the 4 part series of the Mean Gay saga. This post was written by my friend Scott and Words. He shows you how the Mean Gays communicate or lack thereof. Have a read and some laughs.

Scott & Words

Don't laugh. This was being serious. Don’t laugh. This is real life.

Oh, the Mean Gays. You know, the guys that appear perfectly pretty but when they open their mouths and all this ugly comes spewing out. Even as you read this, you’re probably thinking of a few guys you’ve met from Grindr or Scruff, and even a few fellas you’ve encountered at the clubs/bars. So if our previous post didn’t help you identify the Mean Gay with a simple glance, then a few key phrases will help you notice that you’re talking to one. This particular segment of gays have their own communication style.

It’s Hot. It’s Cold.
The Mean Gays aren’t bitchy right off the bat. Some of these pretty boys are friendly in their first message or two. They may thank you for the woof. They may even drop a picture on you. Beware of the switch-aroo though. That friendly facade will melt…

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More blogs and literature for the Latino LGTB community

When I started my blog a few weeks ago, I wanted to write about many different topics. One of those topics I wanted to approach was to write about the gay Latino/Hispanic community. I am a gay Latino and figured I would find other blogs dealing with such a topic. However, when I searched for “Gay Latino,” no blogs appeared. I was a little surprised that WordPress had no blogs dealing with such an issue. There were plenty of blogs when I searched “gay life” or “gay men” or other LGBT issues but zero blogs relating to this topic.

The lack of blogs got me thinking. I am gay and Latino and, well, maybe I should try to focus a part of my blog to this. A recent report by the William’s Institute stated there were 1.4 million Latino/a adults who consider themselves lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender (LGBT) in the U.S.  This number is huge and not considering the many more closeted Latino LGBT not represented in this report.  As many know, the Latino/Hispanic community is not as accepting or as open to the LGBT community.  There are many issues such as religion, family and culture that are very prominent in the Latino/Hispanic community that sometimes hinders the progress of the Latino LGBT.

Many Latinos fear coming out because family, more than often, is one the most important parts of their lives. To not have your family’s support while you are being honest is devastating and this applies not just to Latinos but to anyone coming out; however, in the Latino community, the family bond seems to be greater.  I know this fear because when I came out to my six siblings I feared losing my family. I feared not having their support. It was a risk I took and I am grateful for them supporting me. However, this isn’t always the case.

Machismo also seems to dominate the Latino culture which draws many setbacks to the coming out process. For men, being gay is considered reducing your masculinity. You are no longer the man you were before. Unfortunately, many Latin American countries carry this stigma. I could go on discussing this but for now mentioning these issues will allow me to bring them up later in different blogs.

Part of what I want to do with my blog is to talk about all these topics that seem to plague the Latino LGTB community. I just touched on a few issues but there are many more that can be discussed and having an ongoing dialogue is important so that it opens the door to more blogs. I am not saying there aren’t blogs out there regarding this issue.  One of the best-known bloggers discussing such topics is Andres Duque, a Colombian American gay rights activist. In his blog, Blabbeando, he discusses many LGTB issues such as politics and life issues from around the world.

What I hope to accomplish is to continue to speak about issues that are important the Latino LGTB community so there is more literature out there for the community and invite others to share their stories and experience through this medium.