Have we become disposable?

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Are we like disposable cameras now?

Do you remember those disposal cameras that were really popular in the 90s? You used them once, they were cheap, and they did the trick. They were plastic and they were everywhere: the supermarkets, the convenience stores, the airports, basically at your disposal. Lately, I’ve been thinking, because I think a lot…sometimes too much, that in today’s gay culture we have become like disposal cameras. And here’s why…

I’ve been doing this online ‘dating’ thing for a while and seems that if I don’t give a guy what he wants, he will just move on to the next, and that’s quite alright. If he is looking for quick sex, why shouldn’t he have it? Recently, I “met” (by met, I mean we chatted online) a guy and things were great for a second. We had a connection; we had online-chemistry; we had #feels. We even exchanged numbers…but then two days later, he had ghosted me. He was ignoring my very cute attempts at continuing our conversation (or maybe they weren’t cute, I dunno).

I do know, however, that he wasn’t a ghost because he was back online “looking” a few days later. Yeah, I saw his picture with his very active green dot on his profile! Apparently, he wasn’t into an intelligent and attractive guy like me!  (or so I keep telling myself) My point is that because we have guys at our disposal, just like we have an Uber driver at 2 a.m. in the morning, we have become disposable ourselves. We send woofs, swipe right, send messages and pictures to multiple guys to see which one of them actually responds. There is no focus on just one guy. Even if it is to just hookup, shouldn’t you feel special that this cute guy is choosing you because of how big your heart is, or of whatever quality you may possess, not just because you are .3-miles away? It feels like it’s ADD for online-dating/hookups.

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Can you feel special with so many guys online?

I’m sure we’ve all been there where we feel we can’t keep up with all the different guys we communicate with. I caught myself the other day swiping left on every guy on Tinder because I couldn’t decipher which guy was better than the other. How can I decide based on a picture if one guy is better than the other? So I swiped left on all of them. I didn’t really care nor feel that I had the energy to care, and I think this is the reason why it feels like we are disposable. We just don’t care anymore to make one guy feel special.

What do you think? Are we disposable? Or am I reading too much into this and should give up on dating at my age? Leave your comments below.

Online dating etiquette

Where has all the romance gone from online dating? I remember the days when you would chat endlessly until the wee hours of the night laughing and giggling like innocent children at all the comic and witty comments being exchanged rather rapidly. It was, in a rather unconventional way, a way to get to know someone. I bring this up because today I received a message from someone and when I opened up this message, the first thing I see is a picture of the guy’s asshole and then a ‘hi’. I wasn’t really sure what to respond to that. “Nice asshole,” maybe? I don’t know. And if that wasn’t enough, someone else asked me to rub soap on their ass after we had just exchanged hellos. I wish I could say this is the first time it has happened.  Am I just attracting assholes? (Only the story of my life!)

I am not exactly sure what to think about it either. I am not on a site that is strictly for sex nor am I asking for it. Nothing in my profile says I want to see pictures of a guy’s asshole or any other private part for that matter. I am confused. If I was to be, let’s say at a bar, would someone come up to me, pull down their pants, bend over and show me their asshole and then say hi? Is this the new proper way of introduction now? Am I missing something?

I know with all this increased technology, especially on our phones, where this actually happened, we chat more comfortably and exchange pictures as it they were currency. Privacy doesn’t seem to exist anymore and neither does leaving anything to the imagination. We are in the age of ‘I’ll send you mine if you send me yours.’ We are in such a hurry to know exactly what the other looks like naked that if we were to actually (God forbid) meet then we would know our soon-to-be-lover has a scar on the lower torso or that their ass is far more harrier than their chest. Where is the art of discovering your lover’s body? Yes, I understand that sometimes it’s good to know the mess we are getting into beforehand which might avoid awkward moments, but are we becoming so superficial that we rather know off hand what we look like naked before even meeting? Is this a cultural norm now? Should I be expected to have a naked picture to send if I decide to do this online dating thing? If I was to decide to send my picture to someone then my very white ass body could be floating out there being looked at and desired, of course, by whomever.

The picture of the asshole, literally an asshole, got me thinking of how much online dating has changed. It’s not cute anymore. It’s not fun. Instead of putting a picture of our best smile, now we are putting pictures of our ass or crotch or six-pack abs (which isn’t always bad to look at but whatever) and having to decide whether or not we would talk to this person based on the latter. I get it that by putting salacious pictures will undoubtedly attract a salacious person. I don’t judge people for what they do. We all do it for our own peculiar reasons. What I do, however, mind is seeing someone’s a-hole before even exchanging a nice ‘hello, how are you?’ Although some could just argue that I am just being rather prude and need to get with the new program. I like to think I have some sort of values that I go by. But you could be the judge of that.