Online v. Traditional Dating

Scott and me

Left to right: ME, MO. They look so innocent.

From the minds that brought you “Mean Gays”…a new series that dives into the real “important” stuff gay men tend to focus on. See, Jorge is one of those hip, liberal (mostly) gays…and Mexican (So we call him ME). Scott is a bit conservative (but not always), and jovial…and he grew up a Mormon (So we is called MO). With such opposing perspectives, how do ME and MO agree? They don’t. Not usually…rarely actually. It makes for some interesting conversations though.With that short intro in mind join ME (the one who is always right!) and MO for a few conversations on some randomly drafted topics, based on their dealings with the gay community in Sacramento, CA. Because the gay community in Seattle or Phoenix could be completely different…who knows?

Online Dating v. Traditional

Damn dating apps are everywhere. You use them. We use them. Everyone probably uses them and that is what we are debating today. Are they being used too much and has that ruined how people meet and date?

ME: The problem with gay dating is it’s not like you can just go to church or somewhere and meet guys.

MO: There are some churches that are gay friendly where you could possible meet people. Plus, you can find the local spots where gays tend to congregate, outside of bars, like: Ikea, Whole Foods, the gym even, or sushi.

ME: Name one time you met a guy that wasn’t online?

Scott kissingMO: Kyle wasn’t online.

ME: But you met at a gay bar.

MO: So, it was still in real life. Dave. Robert. And there was Jeff…

ME: You’re a whore. Getting to my point, online dating is killing the romance of meeting someone in a gay bar….or any where else for that matter.

MO: I don’t think I would call gay bars romantic.

ME: That isn’t the point. Even if you are just at a coffee shop or a grocery store, the first thing gay men do now is go on Grindr or Scruff to see if the guy they just saw walking down the vegetable aisle is gay instead of just introducing themselves.

MO: You can’t blame them though. The apps have helped gay men avoid the awkwardness and potential danger of hitting on a homophobic straight guy without knowing it.

ME: Well, if the guy gets offended then he is clearly not cool . The homophobic straight should be flattered. I agree they have helped in a way. However, too many times gay men just use the application to hide behind and look without engaging.

MO: I don’t think guys really hide behind it. I mean, it doesn’t make the process more efficient. You don’t have to go through the often disgusting process of avoiding creepers, you know, those guys at the bar that make you shudder at their very touch? With the apps, you are actually more in control of the process of finding a guy.

ME: But when you are using an application, you are picking and choosing based on a few pictures. The majority of the population still meet through friends and at social functions and it seems like gays are just relying on apps nowadays to find a date. And it’s ruining society! (Laughs)


Technology run amok!!

MO: How is it ruining it society.

ME: It is…everyone turns into a whore.

MO: Whorish behavior aside, apps actually provide a great way to meet guys that you would have never met before. Especially if you are bound by routine and only go to a few places, or you are very shy. I see guys that I would never run into and I even have “Pen Pals” across the state and country because of these wonderful apps.

ME: Uh, pen pal isn’t dating. If you wanted a pen pal send a freaking guy in prison a letter. We are discussing DATING!

MO: Yeah, but you never know. A pen pal can become something more. Plus, the more guys you know, the bigger your pool of potential mates!

ME: Because you’re a whore. You just want more guys on your “list.”

MO: Always the same argument with you.

ME: All I’m saying is that you shouldn’t rely on your phones to have romance. You should actually break your routine and try to meet guys out in the real world.

MO: And I’m just saying that the romance can be found after you meet a guy digitally. Meeting a guy is only just a part of the journey. There will be plenty of times to be “in the real world” having romantic moments. Apps haven’t killed romance. They just made the process more efficient.

gay dating app

Gay dating be like…

ME: But we already rely our phones to get to know people: email, text, Facebook…all these digital outlets. Maybe we should leave romance out of the digital world.

MO: Well, that’s what you think.

ME: Yeah, because I’m right!

MO: *rolls eyes*

What do you think? Join the debate and leave a comment about your view of online versus traditional dating!


Call of the Mean Gay

Here’s the second blog post on the 4 part series of the Mean Gay saga. This post was written by my friend Scott and Words. He shows you how the Mean Gays communicate or lack thereof. Have a read and some laughs.

Scott & Words

Don't laugh. This was being serious. Don’t laugh. This is real life.

Oh, the Mean Gays. You know, the guys that appear perfectly pretty but when they open their mouths and all this ugly comes spewing out. Even as you read this, you’re probably thinking of a few guys you’ve met from Grindr or Scruff, and even a few fellas you’ve encountered at the clubs/bars. So if our previous post didn’t help you identify the Mean Gay with a simple glance, then a few key phrases will help you notice that you’re talking to one. This particular segment of gays have their own communication style.

It’s Hot. It’s Cold.
The Mean Gays aren’t bitchy right off the bat. Some of these pretty boys are friendly in their first message or two. They may thank you for the woof. They may even drop a picture on you. Beware of the switch-aroo though. That friendly facade will melt…

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If looks could kill, Mean Gays come pretty close


MeanGay_Look_Macklemore Hairy Cut

Sometimes, Mean Gays look good

Have you ever looked at a guy and you knew he was perfect? He had a perfect smile, beautiful eyes, and perfectly cut hair? Then when you try to talk to him on Grindr or in person, he completely ignores you and your polite attempt at a conversation. How could that perfect guy who, in your head, was incredibly sweet and possibly the man of your dreams, be a Mean Gay?!

Lucky for you, we’re here to help you identify the Mean Gays in real life and in online applications. After careful research in a controlled environment (Sacramento’s 5 local bars/clubs plus Grindr, Scruff, Jacked, Growler etc., etc ), we’ve narrowed it down to some basics. First we will discuss how to ID a Mean Gay by their looks. If you are still having trouble ID’ing him, we will show you how they communicate or lack thereof. And if you still can’t identify a Mean Gay then, we will tell you about the habits: where they cohabitate and gather to be mean. And since more than likely you ran into a Mean Gay, could be friends with a mean gay, dated a mean gay or—horrors of horrors, you could be a Mean Gay yourself and don’t know it, then you have been more than likely traumatized and have symptoms which we will help you identify.

First in our four part series, we will help you identify a Mean Gay by their looks. Tricky it can be, however, don’t be fooled by good looks and a perfectly coiffed haircut. Be wary as they will unleash their mean streak if you approach! Here are some clues to the mean look:

Man Bootie Short….yes they can look this good

Man Booty Shorts (better known as the tight Slim-Fit Shorts): Yes they might look good, but the cutting-oxygen-to-the-balls shorts are a clear sign of the Mean Gays. With no oxygen running to the balls, they focus their energy on anger and unleash their furry on innocent men. If you decide to approach, approach with caution. If clothes were weapons, these shorts would be flame throwers.

The Stripped Tank-top: These are usually worn with a colorful booty short during the summer. I would encourage you to stay at a minimum of 10 feet away when these 2 items are combined.

MeanGay_Look_Macklemore Hairy Cut2

Macklemore due made famous years earlier by the cartoon character Roger Klotz in “Doug”

The Macklemore Coiffed Haircut: Yes it looks good. Yes it looks sexy.  Yes I have tried styling my hair like it but didn’t stay perfectly to the side; however, this hair style is worn by the flock of Mean Gays. You will find them in the bathroom in groups of three staring at the mirror to make sure the front wave is in place if not watch out for their wrath! Also, be wary of the different variations of this hair cut as some can be longer or shorter but the meanness remains in the do.

No Body Hair: Although they like to have a lot of hair on their head and sometimes even on the face, the rest of the body is hair-free. Why this contradiction is still a mystery. You can usually tell they have no body hair when they wear the tank-tops. It’s a clear giveaway. The perfection not only goes into what they wear but also to have a clean figure underneath.

If you see a guy with these four characteristics, run away immediately. If not their Medusa-like stare will turn you into stone! You have been warned on how to ID a Mean Gay so when in a radius of one, pretend to ignore them as they do to you. Also, look for big accessories, skinny jean and big scarfs (worn during the summer). Wait for our second of four parts next Sunday!