I hate admitting that I, on occasions, several times throughout the day, will log on to tinder and swipe. Yes, I have a serious problem. It’s called being single and bored and living in Sacramento. I don’t like using Tinder and if there was some sort of weekly support group meeting, I would probably attend…and turn on Tinder to swipe (side note: wouldn’t it be cool if you could actually swipe dudes left or right in real life? Like, you’re just walking down the street and you emphatically swipe right on anyone you find attractive…end of side note)
But what I hate admitting even more is that when I occasionally match with someone, which is really rare since there’s basicalliieee only 10 gay guys in Sacramento using Tinder, I won’t say anything…and they won’t say anything. It’s a whole lot of not saying anything. I look at their pictures and wonder if my potential soulmate will say something charming first like “What are you looking for?” or “How is such a cute guy like yourself single?” Okay, so the latter is only to boost my ego, but most of the time it’s just chirps. It’s like if crickets are running Tinder. And when I occasionally read profiles (because as you know, Tinder isn’t about reading), there are those who complain how no one says anything even with Tinder’s encouraging messages to start a conversation such as “Don’t leave it blank” or “Well you’ve come this far, might as well say something” and my favorite: “It started on Tinder”… I am a repeat offender of the silence, however, if someone does message me, I will respond.
However, what is bothersome is the silence by both. No one is willing to just say a simple “Hello” or “Cute smile”. You know, conversations starters…I mean, you matched with your potential soulmate or two-week lover why not say something! If you are using Tinder or any other application out there with the same functionalities, why not use it for what it was intended for (meaningless hookups until you meet the love of your life when you both get stood up by your Tinder dates). Is there a reason why we stay silent? By making the first move, does it make us desperate or even less appealing? Is playing the waiting game what we’re supposed to do so we don’t scare away our potential mate? Or have we become so jaded by the lack of response when we do say something???
Whatever the reasons might be, it seems counterproductive. We are, hopefully, mature adults who are able to hold conversations and if you matched, just maybe, maybe you will find a connection by saying a simple “hello.” If you like the guy, just say something! What do we have to lose?