How to beat the rejection blues

 

Anyone who has been unemployed for a while knows the ups and downs of, well, being unemployed. You get excited when you get an interview and you get disappointed when you get emails saying you are not qualified for job. While we may spend hours searching for jobs and doing research and feeling good about the job prospects we are making, there is nothing worse than to get a rejection. Just last week I had an interview. I prepared and studied for it. The interview went great in my mind; however, the outcome was a lot different. A few days later I got a call from the HR department saying I would not be moving forward to the second interview portion.

I was gracious to the HR person and thanked her for the time and consideration. As I was hearing her speak and as I nodded to her telling me I wasn’t moving forward, rejection ran from my head to my foot. It took over my body. I could feel it numbing my soul. I could feel it sucking out my happiness. It was Friday and I had been feeling great about the interview and was hoping I would proceed to a second. She kept going on about how great I was and how it was ‘unfortunate’ I was not moving forward.

So what do you do after getting rejected for a job? I did what you are not supposed to do. I felt like crap. I felt like I wasn’t good enough and I felt like giving up. After one too many rejections sometimes you just want to give up and feel sorry for yourself. And as sad it is to admit it, I felt sorry for myself. All I wanted to do was to have a few drinks and fill my sadness with alcohol. It was my way to escape and dodge a rejection. Of course you can’t dodge a rejection and it was a blow to my confidence. I took it to heart. I mean we are getting judged on how we present ourselves so we take it personal – at least I do. Since I did what you are not supposed to do after a job rejection, here are few tips from job experts I found on the internet.

Stay positive

Although this may seem hard at first, remaining positive is key. One expert at Guardianjobs.com wrote “… keep your mind focused on other opportunities and continue to present yourself to the best of your ability. If you find you are facing continuous rejection then use it as a means for developing resilience.” I couldn’t agree more. The market is tough and not letting your ego bruise will be undoubtedly increase the chances of finding the perfect job.

Write a thank you letter

You may want to flip off the HR person for giving you the bad news but just remember it wasn’t them. What you should do is write a letter to the person who interviewed you thanking them for the opportunity. It is a good way to stay on the good side. One never knows what could happen and they could keep your resume for future jobs. Also, if you want to get some feedback on the reason why you didn’t get the position, this is the perfect opportunity to ask.

Improve your interview skills

I thought I had done great; however, I don’t know what the manager read as I was responding to her questions. USA Today wrote “Walk away from rejection with understanding so that you won’t make the same mistakes again and you can better focus in on what you need to alter or adjust to make you more of a stellar interviewee and a more relevant candidate.”

Don’t give up

This last one might be the most important. You may want to throw in the towel after a few rejections and stop looking for a job altogether. But this could hinder your job prospect and miss out on other job opportunities. Stay focused on what is important and that is finding a job that fits you.

So my fellow job-rejected unemployed compadres, stay positive and don’t give up!

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Don’t commit these sins while unemployed

So it’s been two months since I have been unemployed again this year. First off, I was not fired nor did I quit my job, as I currently work on a per case basis and since there hasn’t been a new case, I have had no work. Back in 2012 I was laid off and it took me a year to find the job that I am currently employed at. But in that year I did many things a person unemployed should not do. I had never been unemployed before so the first few weeks and months were heaven! I was relaxing and enjoying my free time, but after a while, it became really comfortable to wake up late and watch TV all night. So below I wrote some of my deadly sins of what I did while unemployed on a repeated basis. I hope this serves a good purpose to some other poor soul who is currently unemployed not to make the same mistakes.

What NOT to do:

  1. Watch Netflix – You have all this free time to catch up on movies and TV shows. Why not, right? Wrong! I don’t know how many hours I’ve spent watching things on Netflix, some can say I could have this as a full-time job, possibly even a career if I could. However, this will not pay my bills. I will add that did I find some interesting shows to watch that otherwise I would never had given a chance to.
  2. Use the Internet – Unless you are using to look for jobs or searching for tips on how to better your career, the internet can suck up a lot of time being useless. Especially getting caught up on YouTube with videos like Ylvis’ “The Fox (What Does The Fox Say?)” – Wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow! Yes, a deadly sin. I don’t know how many times I saw this video instead of being productive.
  3. Sleeping – Of course sleeping is good. It’s great for the health and there are many benefits from getting a good night’s rest; however, getting up around noon and going to bed at 1 in the morning because you were doing the above two activities is not the best way to spend your ‘free’ time.
  4. Eating – Stop it! With all this extra time and if you have nowhere to go and nothing to do, you are bound to be at home more which means easy access to the refrigerator.  I do not know how much weight I gained, and frankly, I rather not find out. I noticed that although I wasn’t going out to eat because, you know, unemployed and all, I was finding that my pants were fitting tighter and that my shirts were shrinking. I found myself snacking quite a bit because I was bored and the food was there and so was Netflix and YouTube.
  5. Look at your phone every 2 minutes – At first it’s all innocent because you want to make sure  you don’t miss a call from a perspective employer but after no calls, you start to play around with your smart phone, taking selfies, or looking at apps, or sending text messages to all your friends who are working and can’t return messages promptly, or checking to see who likes your very humorous status on Facebook. After a while it becomes obsessive and all you do is look at your phone.  And this leads to the next sin.
  6. Play Candy Crush Saga – Or any other game for that matter. I was addicted in passing every level of Candy Crush until I ended up realizing that I was becoming increasingly angry when I couldn’t pass a level. I would tell myself, “One more life and then I’ll get back to job hunting…” Well one life turned into an hour or so of asking people for more life and waiting for more life to reappear. No bueno my fellow unemployed peeps. You must delete the app pronto!
  7. Getting depressed – This last one is the most important one for it encompasses all of the above. You start feeling sorry for yourself because you have no job, your girlfriend/boyfriend dumped for lack of a job. It starts becoming stressful trying to pay your bills. And with all the resumes you are sending out and no return calls from prospective employers, you begin to wonder whether or not you are any good anymore. So to avoid thinking about all these things, you begin to watch Netflix, mess around the Internet, sleep and eat more, look at your phone which results in playing games.

As a fellow sinner, please avoid these 7 deadly sins of being unemployed. What sins have you committed while being unemployed?

The best things about the 90s

I was a teen in the 90s and listening to music from this decade last night took me back to a much simpler time and made me miss the hell out of them. Things were great. The nation was growing, the economy wasn’t in total chaos, and Bill Clinton was President. It was an awesome time to be growing up. Because I can and have too much time on my hands, I made a list of the things I miss the most from this slammin’ decade.

  1. High school – Yes I know high school still exists and will continue to exist but I grew up as a teen in the 90s and even though I grew in a small town surrounded by peach orchards where I would work during the summers, the experience is not like anything else. Yes, it got boring and the highlight of high school was going to the Friday night football games and going out drinking in the orchards. But isn’t this what high school is all about? Now I mostly worry about money, jobs and unemployment.
  2. 2. Gangsta Rap – I am not much of a rap person now mostly because it’s boring and doesn’t really speak about anything but having money and Gucci wear, but back in the 90s you had artist who would rap about the struggles of living in poverty. We had rap artists like NWA and Arrested Development who made social commentaries about gang violence and race which plagued urban cities. And sitting in the back of my brother’s Buick with wolf speakers and cruising in the streets just adds to the nostalgia.
  3. No cell phones – Yes, those giant cell phones existed a-la Zack Morris and Nokia came out with a bunch of smaller phones towards the end of the 90s but the most you could do was make phone calls with them. They didn’t have all the gadgets the smart cell phones carry and people would actually have to communicate with each other. I know that this concept has left main stream society since now we are mostly looking down at our phones to check out our social networks that we forget to be social with other humans surrounding us.
  4. Friends” – It had 6 very attractive people to watch but most importantly it was funny! It brought the Rachel cut and Phoebe’s “Smelly Cat” song.  It also gave us the Ross and Rachel will-they-or-won’t-they get together that gripped the nation for 10 years.
  5. MTV – Back in the day’s it actually played music videos unlike the reality shows it now tends to air. I haven’t watched MTV in recent years but all I know is that they air shows like Jersey Shore and 16 and Pregnant. Back in my day, they had Yo! MTV Raps and Alternative Nation where they played music videos and had VJ’s hosting. I remember staying up late to get to watch the shows and see if my favorite music video would pop up. I guess YouTube is our new MTV.
  6. TGIF – The TV shows on ABC not the restaurant. I wasn’t the most popular kid in high school so on Friday night I would stay home and watch the Step-by-Step gang and my all-time favorite Perfect Strangers! I didn’t need to be hanging out with the cool kids when I had this going on on TGIF.  Now all I want on TGIF is happy hour drinks!
  7. AOL – That was the place to go for the internet and to chat. It gave us all the acronyms were now using when we text. LOL would not exist without AOL. Just saying.
  8. Alanis Morissette/Shakira en Español  – I miss Alanis who rocked the 90s with her feisty lyrics in “Jagged Little Pill” about going down on a guy in a theater and about an old man winning the lottery and dying the next day.  Isn’t it Ironic? Well, not really but it was so awesome that  I used to play this record on a cassette player (which I also miss but not so much) over and over until the tape wore off.  Now we have Miley Cyrus who thinks she’s punk. I miss Alanis! Shakira rocked when she sang in Spanish. She also had that angst and earthy kind of lyrics.
  9. Napster – I know this caused many problems for music companies and musicians but for many broke kids this was perfect! I didn’t catch onto it right away but once I realized that I could download music for free I jumped on the bandwagon like everyone else.
  10. Tae Bo – Yes I ordered Billy Blanks tapes and worked out in the privacy of my Nino’s garage when no one was there. I am not ashamed to admit to it (maybe just a little). Billy had me kicking off the pounds my senior year of high school.

Where you a kid of the 90’s? What do you miss the most?